Welcome to Bubba Doright's Home Page. Whenever those creative juices flow, Bubba will thrill us with another shooting tip. Read carefully and pay attention - we all NEED THIS KIND OF HELP!

BUBBA'S FAMOUS TIPS:

BUBBA TIP #7: Major Matches

BUBBA TIP #6: Equipment Makes the Shooter

BUBBA TIP #5: Premature Discharge

BUBBA TIP #4: KECK Diet

BUBBA TIP #3: Range Attire

BUBBA TIP #2: Steel Targets

BUBBA TIP #1: Closing Out a Match

 
   Bubba's Straight Dope On Food, Health, & Exercise

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of! your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the bench press.  What did he mean?
A: "Spotting" for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs; though if you find that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're going in, you probably ought to reevaluate your exercise program.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - No Pain.

Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If  you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had.

Bubba's Thoughts About Life

Bubba has been on a Sabbatical --- while there, he has come up with some "Thoughts for Life". He wants to share them with you. He stole these ideas and sayings from various other people - they are not his original ideas but he does like and believe them.

  • I like big cars, big guns, and big boobs.

  • I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away.

  • I don't think playing with guns makes you a killer. 

  • I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. 

  • I know that no matter how big Jennifer Lopez's butt gets, I'll still want to see it. 

  • I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac in America, you do it in English. 

  • I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. 

  • I want to know when MTV became such crap.

  • I know what the definition of "is" is. 

  • I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet. 

  • I think that being an art student doesn't give you any more insight than working at Blockbuster. 

  • I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package. 

  • I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, and they can do it in their schools. 

  • I think the WNBA is cool, as is the US Women's Soccer Team because they kick ass.

  • My heroes are John Wayne, Winston Churchill, Ronald Reagan, Norman Schwartzkopf, Colin Powell and whoever canceled "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman."

  • I think creative violence and useless nudity and sex makes movies more interesting. 

  • I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. 

  • I think global warming is Chicken Little junk science.

  • I've never owned or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-hell-up already.

  • Rocky and Bullwinkle still make me laugh. 

  • I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them. 

  • I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a 6 year old with a Play Station. 

  • I want to know exactly which church it is where the Rev. Jesse Jackson preaches.

  • I think explosions are cool. 

  • I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. 

  • I worry about dying before I get even. 

  • I like the convenience of buying oranges while I'm waiting at a stoplight, and I'm pretty sure the Latino girl selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator packing crate outside Ensenada.

  • I figured out Bruce Willis was dead midway through The Sixth Sense but enjoyed it anyway. 

  • I think turkey bacon sucks. 

  • I want somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out that when I watch a freeway chase, I know the losers the police eventually pull out of the car are not going be honor roll middle-class high school kids but gang-banging losers from the wrong side of town. 

  • I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with a firm voice and a firmer hand. 

  • I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement and not a fad. 

  • I like hard women, hard liquor and a good bowel movement first thing in the morning, and don't even think about asking me if I want a rice cake.

  • I believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for your living room. 

  • I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry was "Sands of Iwo Jima" and "Ole Yeller". 

  • I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

  • I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings. 

  • I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. 

  • Fight crime, shoot back.